5 Great Movies, 5 Better Video Games

Hello my name is Chris, and I am an addict. I have this urge to just, catch em all. Or find a weapon stronger than the one I currently have. Or see where this menacing cave leads to, probably more treasure! If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m talking about video games, the life blood of society.

Now don’t let my title fool you. I love movies. I.Love.Movies. I just happen to find myself liking video games more and more. The video game industry has become a phenomenon. Games are becoming more entertaining, more charming, more immersive and more emotional. To show you exactly what I mean, I am going to pick five of my favorite movies and compare them to five better video games.

1. The Lord of The Rings

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Lord of the Rings. A story about an unlikely hero saving the world and walking many miles, maybe not on that order. LOTR is one of the greatest movie trilogies ever. In fact, On a poll done of all academy award best picture winners, Return of the King was voted as number one. And that means it has to be true because I saw it online. Lord of the rings is one of the most emotional and moving movies in cinema history, the problem? It introduces you to an entire world that we only see a fraction of, Also a villain we only see once…in a flash back… 3,000 years ago. Now Old man Sauron sits on top of his tower all day, getting pissed off if the neighborhood kids throw shit in his yard. But I digress.

Pictured here: Sauron the dark Lord of Mordor.

Pictured here: Sauron the dark Lord of Mordor.

Lord of the Rings took place in Middle Earth. Did anyone ever wonder what in the hell was going on in Upper Earth and Lower Earth? For those select nerds interested, the LOTR universe was explored more in video games. And everyone knows that the best LOTR games is…..

The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

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Skyrim, the story of an unlikely bad ass who walks many miles and saves the world. Skyrim’s main story may not be nearly as enthralling or deep as LOTR. But it does have millions of things for you to do along the way. When Legolas’ elf eyes see the orcs taking the hobbits to Isengard and sprints across half of New Zealand, in a way that would make Usain Bolt cry, to go save them. How many adventures did he pass along the way? How many caves and mountains and ancient ruins were left behind in his feminine, elvish dust? Granted he was on his way to save his friends, But in Skyrim your friends and enemies conveniently wait for you to get there before anything happens. “Hey man, Sorry I was 20 hours late saving your life. A dragon attacked Whiterun and than I accidentally woke the Draugr King when took his +25 attack Dwarven sword from his tomb. Thank goodness your execution was delayed until whenever I decided to get here”

Pictured here: A C**k tease of exploration

Pictured here: A C**k tease of exploration

pictured here: A map of a world you will NEVER be able to find everything in...ever

pictured here: A map of a world you will NEVER be able to find everything in…ever

4. 300

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300. The Story of a very muscular swim team that stylishly defends its land against pretty white men in black paint. 300 was unique because it made hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office, and nobody had ever heard of it before it came out. Not only did it make Gerard butler a house hold name, According to IMDB he had 23 movie roles before 300, But it changed the pinnacle of manliness from Tom Selleck to Leonidas.

Relevant

Relevant

300 is one of the most stylish and action packed movies in cinema history. The Problem? Leonidas was entirely to bad ass to die. Especially at the hands of a fruit cake white guy shellacked up in black body paint. There has to be more to this Leonidas than one well made movie where he happens to die at the end. If only there was a video game made starring a bad ass ruthless spartan…..

God Of War

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God of War, A video game starring the most ruthless and cruel protagonist in all of video gamedom. Kratos is probably not even classified as a hero. His list of accomplishments are killing his wife and daughter, Human sacrifices, killing his father, and causing the apocalypse. And thats just the stuff that makes him a dick. Kratos has also killed Zues, a Hydra, a minotaur, every god on olympus and every titan. And, He’s had a 3-way, on three separate occasions. Yeah, Orgies. Oh and this is how he kills things.

Kratos is such a boss that he doesn’t let something silly like death stop him. in fact he has died twice. Kratos fought his way out of the underworld and climbed his victims corpses all the way out on top. Leonidas just died. pfffft quitter.

3.Star Wars

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Star Wars. The Story of an overweight, tyrannical creator of the Star Wars universe, Milking and mutating his creation for every dime that its worth, until its a cold, twisted abomination of its former self.

I hate you all. Please buy more Star Wars toys.

I hate you all.
Please buy more Star Wars toys.

Star Wars is a very cut and dry fantasy movie, the twist? It’s an outer space! The story in which I am about to recap is the EXACT same story as  Eragon, A wheel of Time, or any JRPG ever made. A Young orphan farm boy grows up by adopted parents in a small village. Until one day that village is destroyed. Now he is taken under the tutelage of the old wise man who reveals to him how special he and his parents are. And its the young farm boys destiny to kill the big evil of the universe. But Star Wars is better, Because Outer Space. The Problem? To it’s credit Star wars has moved from a beloved movie series to a global franchise. There is movies, TV shows, books, comics, toys, and yes, video games. Actually a lot of video games. Very good video games. like…..

Mass Effect

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In Mass Effect. You are Luke Skywalker, Or Han Solo. Or even Princess Leia. You can be a hard nose yet lovable renegade. Or a push-over paragon. You can have the force. or choose not to and be a weapons expert. Mass Effect Is everything Star Wars should be. The only thing Mass effect does not have is lightsabers, And its a damn shame too. But what Mass Effect lacks in lightsabers, it more than makes up for in companions. I mean come on.

Proof that George Lucas really hates you.

Proof that George Lucas really hates you.

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I know right? Mass Effect is a gripping 100+ hour 3 game trilogy that makes you the center of the universe. Every decision you make has a lasting impression on the rest of your story. You actually have to decide which one of your team mates dies. And if you don’t take the time to get the know the squad and develop a relationship, you might have to kill them too. Remember earlier in Skyrim when you can casually stroll your way up to saving your friend? nope, not an option in Mass Effect. Everything you do matters and has a consequence. ” Hey sorry Team I know you guys were kidnapped by rapey aliens, And honestly, we were on our way over to save you. But we found an abandoned research facility with tons of new weapons and armor for us and…..Oh you’re already dead…..well shit”

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2. Spy Movies

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I realize saying spy movies is a cop out. But the difference between 007 and Mission Impossible is one stars a good ole, blue blooded Murican, and the other is actually a good movie. James Bond, Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer, or the 3JB’s. Are HORRIBLE spies. How do they still have jobs? lets define spy shall we. Spy: Noun, a person who secretly collects and reports information on the activities, movements, and plans of an enemy or competitor. SECRETLY! Optimus Prime can move stealthily through Shia Labeouf’s backyard without his parents knowing. Whats your excuse Bond? STD’s? Horrible Teeth?

pictured here: Tom Cruise being subtle

pictured here: Tom Cruise being subtle

I get it. Movies are supposed to entertain. If Jason Bourne made it through a building silently killing all the guards and making it out with the file scott free, it’s not exactly a gripping scene. the problem? In video games its incredibly bad ass.

Spy Video Games

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Spy Video Games. Now these are good spies. When Sam Fisher aka the Splinter Cell is training before a mission. His handler gives him the task of making it through the obstacle course without making a peep. Sam does so, than chokes his handler out and steals his weapon and codes. Why? Sam figured he was probably a double agent. When playing as Agent 47 in the Hitman games. You can complete your missions James Bond style loudly shooting everyone along the way OR you can achieve the rating of Ghost. Killing your target  and not being seen by anybody. That boys and girls is what spies do. One mission that come to mind is to kill the sleazy gangster. You find out he likes to frequent gentleman clubs. It is now your job to “Take him out”.How I solved this riddle. Steal a Security guards uniform. Stole a keycard that allowed me access into the back rooms. waited patiently in the dancers solo room, waited until sleazy gangster came to watch the show. Boy was his face red when those curtains were raised and saw this.

subtlety.

subtlety.

1. Emotional Movie.

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Another Cop out. But Since the most emotional movie I have ever seen is Up’, I deduced that not to many people would relate so…… Emotional Movies. Movies that make people cry, Either from characters dying or an extreme amount of feels in one scene.

Damn you Russell and Carl, damn you :’(

Movies can very easily move people to tears, Like when Rose Selfishly laid on top of a door while Jack floated in freezing water, Or as simple as a dog dying in Marley and Me. The Problem? These are characters in a movie, in video games. These characters are you, and your friends.

Emotional Video Games

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In the interest of fairness I’ll try to keep this spoiler-free as possible. But, Oh. My.The.Feels. The Last of Us far surpasses any emotions I have ever felt in a movie. Playing as Joel, the much older protagonist, Being responsible for the much younger Ellie. Every time Ellie was in danger my heart rushed. I became exhausted from adrenaline. Saving Ellie’s life was the single most important thing I can do at that moment. No movie has ever done that to me.  Not unLike this scene in Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare. This is way before everyone hated COD because it became popular. And before the scripts were put lovingly in the hands of Michael Bay Clones.

Those people dying were your friends and team mates. Team Mates who have saved your life multiple times. Watching My good buddy Gaz get blasted in the head with a Deagle and see his blood splatter everywhere was most upsetting to me as a gamer. I wanted revenge. I looked at our fearless leader Captain Price. Our eyes connected. He slid me a hand gun. Shits about to go down. After Exacting my revenge I realized that I have not breathed in minutes. Cheetos were hang on my lip like Samuel L. Jacksons cigar in Jurassic Park. My Chubby little gamer heart couldn’t take this.

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Hold on to your butts.

And lets not forget the most emotional scene in video game history….

This actually happened to an 11 year old me. This loving, selfless, character. A character that you literally care for, raise, buy things for, and love. dies. Right in the middle of the game. And you don’t ever, ever, ever get her back. Watching that happen to your love interest combined with that heart wrenching song, at that moment young Chris realized that life’s a bitch. If Video games are leagues behind the movie industry. Why can no movie illicit an emotional response like this one scene did for me?

Pictured here: A douche nozzle

Pictured here: A douche nozzle

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